I don't own anything, the song is "hands clean" by Alanis Morissette. YYH is not mine, however much I want it to be

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You didn’t know what to think as you walked, silent, watching as the world spun past. Rain, pouring down from roofs and leaves, soon trickled into the gutters. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be, and yet it was. This feeling of love; it burned it scorched. The sound of your feet hitting wet pavement echoed as you walked home.

God, if only you hadn’t fallen in love so quickly and so hard. If only this could be some sort of platonic relationship, where you were only in it for the sex, but it wasn’t. Instead your life had come to him. Revolving around him, loving him with every fiber of your being and feeling the pain of unrequited emotion. He didn’t love you; he thought of you barely as a friend, and even then one to keep at a distance.

But who cares? This was it, you had to tell him.

If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

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God, he loved you. Every inch of him was screaming for him to say it. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell you that, not when you thought of him only as a friend, and one to keep at a distance at that. How many times had he wished for this to be platonic; just a passing fancy due to your beauty? But the feeling persisted. Damned love; all it could do was wither and die like so many roses. He currently stood in front of your door, not knocking on it, not moving; coming to some horrible inner decision. This was it.

He had to tell you.

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

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A friend always and forever; it made you want to scream. He had never brought up the subject of a relationship beyond that of friends. Never had he hinted that there could be something more lurking behind his stoic face. Never. So then why the hell did your heart ache for him; his touch, his scent, his presence? Why did you fall in love with a man who could never return your feelings? No, a relationship could never happen. You had trained him to be emotionless, demonstrated the importance of being passive yet kind. He had turned to you, never as a lover, always as a friend. Always as a student who admired your teachings. It drove you mad. But in some small way, you liked him depending on you for advice. He was powerful and wise and yet he still turned to you for guidance.

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

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He needed you; to feel you, hear you, and see you. He needed it more than he had ever truly needed something in his entire life. However much he disliked it he depended on you; your ability to be kind and unfeeling at the same time; your ability to think ahead of not only others actions, but your own. How you could admit your faults without shame astonished him. For too long he had sat and waited for you to show you cared for him; show that his feelings were returned. He had to do this, for himself and for you.

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
I've more than honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

He had experienced so much of his life with you. How many wounds had you healed? How many had you inflicted to teach him a lesson? How many times had you gotten hurt because of him, what he had done? How many times had you defended him? Far too many to count; he knew that much. But you needed to know this; even if you did not feel the same way, you needed to know. You needed to know that he loved you.

What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
What with this distance it seems so obvious?

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It was so obvious that you loved him. Everyone already knew. The rain grew harder and pelted down on your sweater. Despite the warmth it provided you shivered. He probably already knew that you loved him. In the shadowed depths of your heart you knew he didn’t love you back. You knew he couldn’t. Not someone like you. You opened the gate to your yard and froze. He was standing in your doorway, his silhouette bold as the porch-light shone on him. Then he turned and the breath caught in your throat.

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

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He swallowed hard before turning around. What he saw rooted him to the spot. He saw you clutching your sweater over your chest and your jean covered legs stood still, your knees locked. Rain cascaded like a waterfall over your h/c hair. Tiny droplets clung to your eyelashes like drops of liquid silver. He moved aside and motioned for you to stand under on the covered porch. Feet moving solely on the will to escape the rain pulled you to stand by him. He watched you gracefully reach up to grab the spare key above the doorframe, observing the way your back arched and your delicate fingers curled around the object.

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this


“Come in,” you said simply, betraying none of the conflicting emotions that raged war in your e/c eyes. ~This is it, ~ You told yourself.

~Now, or never, ~ he assured himself. Neither of you removed your coats. You didn’t dry off, and neither did he. Both of you stood drenched and dripping, the water soaking your carpet.
“I love you,” the lips moved in synchronization, the admittance coming at the same time. He froze as did you. A small smile made its way to your face.
“You mean it?” you asked, wondering if your mind was playing tricks on you.
“Do you?” he asked in return, blood pounding in his ears. You nodded before sprinting the few feet towards him and wrapping your arms around his neck. He caught your lips in a kiss that made your pulse speed up ten fold.

The feeling of you in his arms, his tongue battling against yours was heavenly and unforgettable. He needed this more than anything and so did you. Feeling safe in his arms, knowing he loved you. Silently he broke from the kiss before pressing something into your right hand.

That had been three years ago…..

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Now, sitting in a park watching a dog play fetch he stood holding your hand tightly. Swearing to himself to never going to let you go. The ring on your finger stood testament to that promise. He leaned forward his hair brushing against your ear.
“I love you, _your name_,” smiling broadly you turned back to him.
“I love you Kurama,” You still had the orange blossom he had given you that night. In return you gave him a primrose. The kitsune smirked. He knew he had fallen in love with the right person.
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okay, it sucked.
Go kill me now.